I didn’t forget about this blog.
In fact, quite the opposite.
I’ve been doing the depression juggling act. A perpetual dance of procrastination, and powering through projects until you’re spent. Hiding out in bed on your days off from the realities of bills, deadlines, and responsibilities.
I’ve been on my medication for a while now, I’m open with that because there should be no shame in getting help for mental health issues. The medication, therapy techniques and self-care have greatly improved my quality of life. But it’s not a magic wand that’s waved and suddenly that wet smelly throw blanket on our back that is depression is waved away. You just get a chance to wash it and deal with it better. You get a chance to know that it’s there and how to maneuver through the world without it completely incapacitating you.
Since the fog has cleared a little, though the storm hangs overhead, now I spend time catching up.
This blog is one of the things I need to catch up on instead of putting it off. Though I know why procrastination especially around my writing comes into play. Vulnerability and I have an interesting dance.
The juggling act as of late hasn’t been so good, hence this blog has sat in a draft folder for a few weeks now. While I chisel away at it whenever the fog moves away a little bit at a time and I remember how to type words I don’t hate.
This isn’t my proudest blog, I don’t think I actually have one. But I feel like it’s fits and starts, it’s semi-chaotic honesty is the most truthful thing I’ve written in a long time.
The most vulnerable.